To start with, you must know who Philip Glass is. Philip Glass is a well-known late-20th century American composer and pianist. I personally enjoy some of his work (e.g. Mad Rush). Other pieces are interesting but…less accessible.

I have my father to thank for intruducing me to his music, as well as many other classical and contemporary composers. But I have no direct connection to Mr. Glass.

A few years ago Geico suddenly began addressing me as “Philip Glass” anytime I called. They claimed a phone number with that name was attached to my account. Repeated requests to remove it were unsuccessful.

Last year I started receiving texts from a collection agency about overdue Geico bills. After double-checking my Geico account I concluded they were scam texts. I ignored them.

Eventually they became so persistent - to the point of threatening legal action - that I Googled the website and phone number. It seemed like it might be a legitimate collections agency.

I called Geico first, to confirm with an actual human that my account was in good standing. Greeting me as “Philip Glass,” they assured me that Jordan Hollinger’s account was paid up and had never been late or sent to collections. They also assured me they would finally remove “Philip Glass’s” name and phone number from my account.

Cautiously, and perhaps foolishly, I called the number on the collection agency’s website. I told them Geico confirmed I had never been sent to collections and indignantly stated, “If this isn’t a scam it’s a mistake. Either way, you’re not getting any money out of me so stop it with the threatening texts.” The representative said she’d look up the account using my phone number. “Is your name Philip Glass?”

Seriously? She agreed to remove my phone number from their records.

I think it’s fairly obvious what happened. Someone at Geico put either my name and number, or Philip’s name and number, on the wrong account. Later they dumped a CSV of overdue accounts and handed it off to a collections agency. I get it.

Is this the actual Philip Glass who composed Itaipu and the score for The Truman Show? I’ll likely never know. But the drama is over.

Except…months later I receive two unexpected calls. The first I miss. The second I answer. The area code is local. The caller ID reads “GLASS PHILIP”. I hear is a child’s, or maybe a woman’s, quiet voice saying “Hello? Hello?” Then they hang up.